It came on gradually, the way crabgrass does. First Mr. Hale next door stopped saying “Good morning” and started saying “Uuuurgh.” Then the milkman began leaving the bottles on the wrong porch, and the bridge club came back from the church social looking a little green. Half the block has turned. A gentleman does not panic. He straightens his bow tie and carries on being a good neighbor. Sixty cheerful skills, from mowing around a neighbor who will not move to teaching him the fox-trot. Every skill fits on one illustrated page.
“Good fences make good neighbors. Good manners make the rest.”Old household saying
Mr. Hale is stuck in the hedge again. Mrs. Pettibone is asleep on your porch swing. The whole block turned up on the lawn the moment you lit the barbecue. This book is the calm, courteous voice your household needs, written in the trusted style of the old household guides, with a painting for every step.
From noticing that Mr. Hale has turned to being the best gentleman on the block, every skill fits on a single page.
Painted 1950s scenes of the gentleman, his family, Mr. Hale, Mrs. Pettibone and Fifi the poodle show exactly what to do.
Good-natured humor about shuffling neighbors, cauliflower called brains and a great deal of fruitcake. The zombies are goofy and harmless, and still neighbors.
US Letter pages with color tabs on the edge, ready for a binder or a print shop.
Each chapter opens with a full-page painting and a short introduction, then moves through its skills one page at a time.
Chapter One · Skills 01–06Recognizing the signs that the folks next door have turned
Chapter Two · Skills 07–13Keeping the yard in order while the neighbors wander across it
Chapter Three · Skills 14–20Dressing well, grooming well and looking respectable on a rumpled street
Chapter Four · Skills 21–27Casseroles, seating charts and passing the gravy to the undead
Chapter Five · Skills 28–33Borrowing, lending, small talk and gossip over the back fence
Chapter Six · Skills 34–39Children, pets, grandparents and babysitters on a turned street
Chapter Seven · Skills 40–46Church, the barber, the grocery, the bowling alley and the office
Chapter Eight · Skills 47–53Hordes on the lawn, stalled cars and uninvited guests in the kitchen
Chapter Nine · Skills 54–60Block parties, holidays and living happily alongside the turned
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A green side panel lists what to gather, from a cup of coffee and your reading glasses to your good manners, with a picture of each item.
The skill number, its chapter, how long it takes and how hard it is. "Skill 01 · There Goes the Neighborhood · 5 minutes · Easy."
Six painted steps, each with a short title and plain instructions you can read across the kitchen, even with Mr. Hale groaning over the fence.
The things that go wrong, called out before they happen. “Never sneak up behind a turned neighbor and say ‘Boo.’ He has heard it all before, and he will want a hug.”
Tap a page to see it full size. Scroll sideways for more.
Every turned neighbor from Mr. Hale to Fifi the poodle, where to find them, what they are fond of and how to address them, plus what to serve each one.
The gentleman’s neighborhood kit, what to do before the potluck, and how to throw a happy block party.
A neighbor stuck in the hedge, milk on the wrong porch, guests who will not leave: a handy chart for every mishap.
Tick off each skill once you’ve done it, look up odd words like “Braaains,” and find any topic fast.
The printed book is a full-color paperback with a glossy cover, the size of a magazine. Each copy is printed fresh when you order it and mailed to your door. Take a look inside above; the rest is waiting in the book.