It started with the footprints. Twenty inches long, out of the pine woods and straight across the lawn to the woodshed. Then the woodshed door opened, and something eight feet tall and very hairy looked out and sneezed. His name is Woodrow. He eats forty-eight pancakes at a sitting, howls at the moon and is terrified of the vacuum cleaner. Somebody had better teach him some manners. Sixty wholesome skills, from ducking through doorways and bath day with the garden hose to going to town as Uncle Walter from Oregon. Every skill fits on one illustrated page.
“A footprint is just a letter of introduction.”Mother, the first morning
He has bumped his head on every doorway, eaten every pancake in the house and been photographed for the Gazette twice. This book is the calm, kindly voice your household needs, written in the trusted style of the old family guides, with a painting for every step.
From reading footprints in the snow to saying goodnight under the stars, every skill fits on a single page.
Painted 1950s scenes of Mother, her family, Woodrow the Bigfoot and Ranger Dobbs show exactly what to do.
Ducking through doorways, keeping him off the roof, an indoor voice and a latch on the icebox.
US Letter pages with color tabs on the edge, ready for a binder or a print shop.
Each chapter opens with a full-page painting and a short introduction, then moves through its skills one page at a time.
Chapter One · Skills 01–07Footprints, first pancakes and a proper introduction
Chapter Two · Skills 08–14Doorways, doormats and no howling after nine
Chapter Three · Skills 15–21Bibs, napkins and passing the potatoes
Chapter Four · Skills 22–28Burrs, baths in the yard and the shedding season
Chapter Five · Skills 29–35Disguises, the station wagon and a trip to the hardware store
Chapter Six · Skills 36–41Firewood, groceries and moving the piano
Chapter Seven · Skills 42–48Catch, hide-and-seek and a tree house big enough
Chapter Eight · Skills 49–54Halloween, Thanksgiving and his very first Christmas
Chapter Nine · Skills 55–60Thank-you notes, the county fair and goodnight under the stars
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A green side panel lists what to gather, from a stack of pancakes and a horse brush to a very large trench coat, with a picture of each item.
The skill number, its chapter, how long it takes and how hard it is. "Skill 01 · Found in the Woodshed · 20 minutes · Easy."
Six painted steps, each with a short title and plain instructions you can read across the kitchen, even with a Bigfoot reading over your shoulder.
The things that go wrong, called out before they happen. “Do not follow footprints into the woods after dark. Bigfoot can see in the dark and you cannot, and he will laugh.”
Tap a page to see it full size. Scroll sideways for more.
Woodrow, Uncle Walter, Ranger Dobbs, Mrs. Pruitt and the man from the Gazette: where to find them and how to handle them, plus a feeding chart (48 pancakes a sitting).
The Bigfoot welcome kit, the Uncle Walter disguise, and everything for bath day in the yard.
Bumped head in a doorway, muddy footprints indoors, a flattened armchair, a photographer in the hedge: a handy chart for every mishap.
Tick off each skill once you’ve done it, look up odd words like “Sasquatch,” and find any topic fast.
The printed book is a full-color paperback with a glossy cover, the size of a magazine. Each copy is printed fresh when you order it and mailed to your door. Take a look inside above; the rest is waiting in the book.